This post was most recently updated on May 18th, 2015
Here we are, 3 full days into the new year. I’ve noticed my Facebook page and my Pinterest feed overflowing with my friends’ goals and plans for 2014. But as for me … well, I’ve never been one to make “RESOLUTIONS” per say. I prefer a different approach to the fresh start of a new year …
First, let me say that I have nothing against those who boldly declare their resolution for the year on January 1 and then faithfully apply themselves to the keeping of their declaration. I also have nothing against those who make the statement but by February have found the goal too challenging or the ideal too lofty. I am steadfastly rooting for all my friends to run their half-marathon or learn to knit or quit cussing in front of their kids … whatever they want to achieve – I’m with them 100%. But I also understand, like most everyone, that life tends to happen in unexpected ways and sometimes, it prevents us from doing the things we set out to do. Or at least doing them in the time frame we have in mind.
So it is that I don’t make resolutions. I set a goal – every January 1 – not to achieve one particular objective, but instead to improve in all areas of my life. That’s it. I’m not looking to lose all the weight from my last four baby(ies), just to be healthier. If the weight just happens to come off … well, I won’t miss it – but that isn’t my main objective. I just want to live a little healthier than I did in the previous year. And be a little more organized. Instead of vowing to ruthlessly purge every closet, cabinet and drawer in the house and implement a rigid system of streamlined efficiency – I’m going to try to get through some of the tubs and tubs of baby/toddler/little girl/little boy clothes in the Guest House and sell or donate what I don’t have use for anymore. I know moms who have resolved to not lose their temper or yell at or in any way over-react to their children this year. But rather than set myself up for the heartache of imminent failure when everyone else in my household (over whose hormones/moods/quirks/thought processes I have no control) chooses not to remain quiet, stop fighting, pick up their rooms and remember to brush their teeth without reminders … I am shooting for the much more realistic goal of taking a deep breath, picking my battles and modeling patience as often as I can. Shooting may end up being the operative word in that sentence …
Everyone wants to be the best they can be and a new year gives all of us the opportunity to start with the proverbial clean slate – put all the woes and mistakes of the past year behind us and begin anew with energy and hope for the future. And I know that every person who makes a resolution on New Year’s Day has full intention of following through with their very best efforts. Unfortunately, as time passes and success isn’t coming as quickly as they imagined – or perhaps setbacks in the form of outside forces beyond control – discouragement, frustration and fear begin to creep in and bright hope for the future becomes tarnished with a sense of failure. Which inevitably leads to the demise of the RESOLUTION and that sense of failure starts to weigh heavily on the heart. We’re too hard on ourselves. Every unsuccessful attempt becomes (in the mind of the maker) a declaration to the world that he or she is a loser.
But the truth is, while setting goals for ourselves is a good practice, the real profit comes not from the achievement itself, but from the experience obtained along the way. So I think it’s time we do away with overly-ambitious, elaborate and grand schemes confined to a limited, one-year-only period of execution and go a little easier on ourselves. Set your goals but make them realistic. Allow yourself time to reach a little farther every day, rather than trying to reach the top all at once. Enjoy the journey. And accept that forward motion is a success – even if it’s small. Every day brings a new opportunity for improvement so let’s not get so caught up in the idea that new goals can only be set on January 1st – let’s make some New Day resolutions instead. I could definitely get on board with those.
Blessings to you in 2014.
